I need a Freakin’ Miracle.
One day long ago in a far off land…
I was a super anxious and stressed out people pleasing, Type-A over-achiever and overfunctioner (meaning I take on others’ emotional and physical responsibilities as my own). My internal world was riddled with fear and “never gonna be enough.”
When Mindfulness skills came into my life I learned how to observe my brain’s thoughts and my body’s emotions. It was pretty dang cool and …..
Deep Diving is Scary…Why I Do it Anyway
In the past year I’ve become certified for open water scuba diving. In all honesty, I would have never done it if it weren’t for a trip I wanted to go on…and a guy. But if you’re familiar with me, you know I like to take on new adventures and find exciting ways to explore the world. Sometimes I’m slow to warm up to something new, and sometimes I jump in (arguably) too fast. This has been no different than my approach to my Mindfulness, self-discovery and healing journey.
I like to use metaphor to explain concepts. Scuba diving, as it turns out, has become a great metaphor for Mindfulness. More specifically, this has become a metaphor for doing that scary thing called being with your emotions. I refer to this as the “deep dive” of Mindfulness; going below….
This is embarrassing. What I’m about to share with you is so far from what I felt was true or right. But here it is; For the majority of my life I saw myself as less valuable if I didn’t have a partner/boyfriend. Ugh, it pains me to acknowledge it! I am all about being strong on your own and loving life as it is right now, not needing external validation to tell you who you are or indicate your worth.
It’s not like I didn’t KNOW that you didn’t need a ton of high status friends or a boyfriend to be an amazing person. I knew that cliche notion of having to love yourself first and foremost. Nonetheless, under the surface I was stuck in